Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize