Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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