I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
