I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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