It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
