she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
