It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
