hotel room ftw
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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