glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
