My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
