I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
