I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize