Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
