She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize