Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
