if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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