I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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