my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize