I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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