I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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