so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize