I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
