Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
