I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
