So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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