Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
