Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize