She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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