I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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