next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You ruined the universe
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
