That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
