Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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