Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
