we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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