Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize