I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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