This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
