Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize