Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
