I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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