i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
