i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
