Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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