So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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