the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize