Just mADE A PArabola og urine
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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