i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
