The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
