Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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