I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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