Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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