i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
