She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize