SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
