is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ladies don't puke and tell
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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