What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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