I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
