I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
