so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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