i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
