I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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