you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
