Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"

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(316): View more from Kansas

I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"

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(626): View more from California

she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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(212): View more from New York

Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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(716): View more from New York

He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...

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(614): View more from Ohio

Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.

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