I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
