I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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