how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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