My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
