don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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